Today, I am writing out of sheer gratitude. In one week, I will file my last claim for unemployment before filing for an extension because a woman like myself (talented, eager to work, holding multiple degrees) cannot seem to find a suitable job in this fierce economic climate. When I went to the unemployment office, they laughed at my request to further my education per the promise in their literature. "No dear, we're trying to train people for trades, not to pursue a Ph.D.! But I like your spirit!" Well, thank you but my spirit cannot cover the rent, so I'll keep looking for something more substantive. In spite of my current economic situation, which interferes with my self-care purchases from Starbucks and Barnes and Noble, I still find that I am still comfortably seated in the heart of abundance.
How can that be? When I look around my living room and see all of the books and music compact discs surrounding me, I realize that I shall never be bored as long as I can pick up a book and re-read it or pop a disc into my cd player and dance my heart out in the middle of the living room floor. This reminds me that there is an abundance of joy stored in my soul and it does not take much effort to release it. It also reminds me that there are always new songs to be sung and new books to be written from the abundance of experiences that have filled, shaped and become my life. I am grateful.
I look into the kitchen and the pantry and see the boxes and bags of food spilling into every inch of available space. While my sweet daughter complains that there's nothing to eat, I know better. I come from a long line of women and men who learned to turn discarded scraps into succulent feasts for their families. I may not always want what I see on the shelf but I am always mindful that I have choices. I can choose to eat what I have or I can choose to order something else - and have it delivered. I can also choose to go to bed hungry but even that choice comes from a place of abundance. Only someone who CAN would choose to go to bed hungry because she knows that when she awakes, she will be able to choose from an array of breakfast items. Last night, I cooked peas and rice and reheated some ham that I found in the freezer. As I ate my rice, I sat quietly and reflected on the percentage of people in the world who also ate rice that night. They may not have had peas with their rice. They might not have had chicken stock in which to cook their rice. They might not have had the choice to have ham with their rice. Most of them will not be able to choose anything else but rice for their next hundred dinners - if they eat at all. Again, in the simple act of eating a bowl of rice, I am reminded of the abundance which keeps me afloat. I am grateful.
I have recently started going to the gym five or six days out of every week. Although I joke about not having enough oxygen to fuel my walk/run routine, I must confess that I have yet to run out of air or energy while making my way to the finish line. When I first began walking, I tested my old track team skills and found that I was still able to make good time if I pushed myself. I realized quickly that I had an abundance of good health and strength. I also had a layer of "good living" that had settled between my ribs and my knees but as someone who has been thin all of my life, I can even appreciate the abundance that caused my skirts to tuck under in the back and also caused my jeans to beg for mercy. Body image and perception is its own blog topic for another day, but I am reminded of my health and strength each time I set my course on the treadmill with a confidence that I shall indeed finish what I started. I am grateful for a body that still works with all of its original parts. I am also grateful for the manufacturer's guarantee that when the lease on this one does expire that there is a 'retirement' home waiting for my soul. That's real abundance!
I am also grateful for an abundance of love in my life. I have some of the best friends that anyone could ever hope to have. My friends' love is patient and kind; my friends' love keeps no record of wrong doing; my friends' love trusts, hopes and perseveres; My friends are faithful, hopeful and loving - but the greatest of these is the love of my friends! My friends have loved me through good relationships and bad breakups. My friends have loved me in sickness and in health. My friends span the decades - from elementary school to graduate school. My friends span the globe - from the Canary Islands to Long Island. Some friends were born family, other friends have become family. Some of my friends share common interests. Others share a space of agreeable disagreement. Some have walked through the treacherous waters of academia with me. Others have weathered the storms of church life as congregants and as clergy. Some friends I made by praying for them. Others have prayed with me when mammograms were unclear and biopsies needed repeating. Some have held my hand and others have lent a hand. Some make sure that there is money for something fun after the light bill has been paid. Others send cards in the mail because they know that I'll read them every day for at least two months. Some send text messages to let me know that they're thinking of me. Others click "like" on my Facebook status updates. Some remind me that they're waiting for my new blog post. Others remind me that there are job openings with their companies. Some don't call, text, write, or email for months at a time...but when they do...it is as if time has stood still. In the abundance of which I speak and write, there are still many more friends just waiting to be embraced! For these friends and this love, I am grateful.
Yes, these next few weeks will be a test of my faith and a test of my ability to squeeze a penny until Lincoln screams but these next few weeks will also be weeks of great comfort because I know that I have more than enough. I know that I am living in a place of sweet surrender to the abundance of blessings that life has to offer. I may not have the exact configuration that I desire, but I have the exact configuration that I need at this moment. What I do have reminds me to be grateful and to be patient and to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I am abundantly blessed and truly grateful. Thank you for sharing in my joy! I pray that you will pause to seek the abundance in your life today.
Shalom!
This is the song in my heart today...
