Thursday, January 5, 2012

Why I Made My Students Read The Alchemist

If you have not yet read The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, I do not know what you are doing with your life! This phenomenal book has the power to change your life if you allow it! I discovered this gem in 2006 and refer to it frequently. In its simplicity, it is deeply profound. It inspires a return to our true selves and to our dream life that we have left behind in pursuit of something more stable and sensible...and probably boring! What happened to following the dreams of our youth? What thief came along and stole our dreams? When you travel alongside Santiago, you may find yourself reclaiming your dreams as you and he pursue his Personal Legend.



The Alchemist is the story of a young shepherd who decides to follow his dream to see the Pyramids. Being a shepherd allows him the luxury to travel freely. He meets several characters along the way but each one is important to his journey. Each character has an important role to play in teaching him something about himself or about the journey.  How often do we forget to notice the people who travel with us - and how often do we forget to notice that there are lessons that we could never have learned without the help of another? How many lessons have I learned from the students I've met in my 14 years as an educator? How many babies have taught me a deeper theology than all of the books in the library?

This story is bracketed by a prologue and an epilogue which provide meaningful keys to understanding the shepherd's story. The prologue includes a retelling of the myth of Narcissus as understood by the Alchemist. This window into the Alchemist's soul sets a tone for the rest of the book. My take on the prologue is that one must never be so self absorbed as to fail to SEE (really see, notice, pay attention to) the beauty in all creation. The epilogue confirms for the reader that though the last line of the story indicates that Santiago knows where his treasure is, we still want to know that he actually finds it. In the last line of the epilogue, he whispers on the wind that he will return to the woman he loves. (And I swoon!)

If I had to select just one quote from this awesome book that explains why I made my students read The Alchemist, it would be from page 76 of the HarperOne edition: "We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand." Regardless of what else they may learn from me over the course of our time together, if they can learn and grasp that we are part of time and eternity, then they will have what they need to succeed in life. Although I would love to see them all earn an A in my classes, there is something bigger than an A in Miss Jones' class. Although I want to see them go off to college and become productive citizens (smile), there is something bigger than that as well. I want them to be fearless when it comes to losing "things" that can be recovered. I want them to live fearlessly and to pursue their Personal Legends with the confidence that the Soul of the World knows and waits for them. I want them to learn to read the omens and learn the lessons along the way. Most importantly, I want them to find the treasure that lies within them, for that is the one thing that no one can take away from them. I want them to always remember that though I am a clearly confessing Christian, I entrust them to God's care and grant them the combined blessing of Amen and Maktub!



Sunday, January 1, 2012

OVER the Rainbow

Today is the first day of 2012 and I am just glad to be here! I am also working on my commitment to write one entry each month! (Reminders and encouragement are welcomed!)

 I named this blog for the tremendous impact that Ntozake Shange's Choreopoem had on my life. Little did I know that it would take me on a journey through my own battle with depression. Little did I know that so many of my friends and loved ones were on the same journey and needed me to speak for all of us. Today's blog entry "OVER the Rainbow" is more of a testimony than a title. Please don't think that I took a pill (every day at the same time for several months) and the depression magically disappeared. No, silly, it was and is not that easy...and don't you forget it when you're trying to love on those of us who often suffer in silence and solitude.  It's a long, arduous process...more like a battle that just never seems to end though it may die down into what feels like a cease fire sometimes, depression always comes back well rested and well armed.

On December 20, 2011, I was on my way to work and felt a sudden and overwhelming grief and sadness. I wept in my car and on the train and could not figure out why. My life had turned around in miraculous ways. I was no longer holding my breath in anticipaiton of an unemployment check. (Now, I anticipate my direct deposit from my employer! *insert crazy praise here*) My daughter was no longer struggling as she once had in middle school. I had found a place to worship and call 'home'. So, where did this grief come from? The body remembers...

On December 18, 2010, I wrote a blog entry that was my confession of having considered suicide...because the rainbow had indeed been 'enuf'. As I tried to work through my tears and sadness, I realized that I had actually almost taken my life a year ago. I realized that I was my enemy's best weapon...for my demise. Depression had seduced me to the point of deepest intimacy and I had the perfect opportunity to consummate our relationship. I was weeping because I realized that instead of fluffing the winter blankets for my bed, my parents might have been buying a grave blanket this Christmas. Let's be clear, those who know me...really know me...already know that I have perfectionist proclivities. I was not trying to be bruised, maimed, or disabled. I was shooting for "Lazarus before Jesus arrived" dead.  I researched the methods. I checked the doses. I put my affairs in order. I was not waiting for or clinging to the hope and promise of the rainbow. All I wanted was to be released from the pain that I felt in my mind, heart, and body. I prayed for forgiveness the thoughts and the premeditation of it all. As a Christian and especially as clergy, I was supposed to be seeking the Kingdom of Heaven and all I wanted to do was hide!

Many who know my 'ridiculously joyful side' find this to be incredible hyperbole but for the sake of those who are suffering and unseen, I have to tell you my story again and again until you hear me. You may have someone like me in your home. You may have someone like me in your life. You may have someone like me in your heart. You may have someone like me in your congregation, on your job, in your carpool, in your child, in places that you would never imagine. For the sake of the silent ones, I need for you to realize that there is a place like this where many of us congregate...but it's not joyful, it's in lonliness and seclusion. Shange's poem was and is for those Colored Girls like me. The rainbow was enuf.

But...

By the GRACE of God I'm still here, so...

Until Colored Girls stop considering suicide,
     I'm going to keep writing.
Until Colored Girls stop considering suicide,
     I'm going to keep praying.
Until Colored Girls stop considering suicide,
     I'm going to keep loving.
Until Colored Girls stop considering suicide,
     I'm going to keep watch over them.
Until Colored Girls stop considering suicide,
     I'm going to keep LIVING!

I'm extending my hand to help Colored Girls make it OVER the Rainbow!
I am OVER the Rainbow and there is peace here.
I am OVER the Rainbow and there is love here.
I am OVER the Rainbow and there is healing here.

I am OVER the Rainbow and there is life here.
I am OVER the Rainbow and there is laughter here.
I am OVER the Rainbow and there is joy here!
I am OVER the Rainbow and GOD is here!



Some of you are going to thank God for a new year and another chance.
Today, I am thanking God for bringing me and others like me OVER the Rainbow!

Shalom!