Inside Out

    First, let me state that I absolutely HATE getting dressed in the summer time.  I care what I look like and therefore do not favor visible bra straps under my tank tops and cannot be bothered enough to buy bras with the invisible straps (hello, they're clear plastic! The object of summer dressing is to de-crease the amount of potential perspiration!). So, I find it very stressful to dress in age-weather-and-style-appropriate clothing in the summertime. Call me country, but give me one of those old school snap front 'housecoats' with a folded up paper towel in the front right pocket any day. These were in vogue long before Victoria told all of her secrets and when Sears didn't need a softer side! Laugh if you want to, but I swear, it's the southern girl's secret to better fried chicken! And no, you won't see one in Carrie's closet on Sex in the City, but I have seen them on my grandmother, mother and aunties as they demonstrated Fidelity in a Frock!

Now, I am secure in my sense of self...however, I am also far too vain to leave the house in a housecoat, so I must bear the burden of donning a tee shirt (to solve the strap dilemma) and the one pair of shorts that I can button without turning a deep shade of under-oxygenated blue. Due to the recent expansion project that is underway in the area below my waist (without a permit, I might add), I am down to one pair of khaki shorts and the black and pink running shorts I ordered from  The Breast Cancer Site. Those are the options, folks! I have a stack of three lovely V-neck tee shirts from Target and those are not to be cross pollinated with the over sized, wrinkled tee-shirts in the "for the gym" pile in the nether regions of my closet.

So, you think you see my dilemma, right? You think this is all about putting on something reasonable and leaving the house to do errands in this "now do you understand global warming" New Jersey summer heat. This is not merely about putting on the right clothing! This is about putting my clothes on the right way!  This is about leaving the house and thinking that I can run to the store and pick up a few items before returning home to the solace of central air. This is about what happened to me last week: After finding the perfect parking space, getting out of my car and looking at my reflection in the driver's side window, I collapsed into a heap on the small grass median that kept my car from kissing the other one. I did not faint from heat exhaustion. I was not crying because I had locked my only set of keys in the car...not that day anyway. I was laughing hysterically and looking absolutely crazy since I was alone and there was no one to laugh with me...because despite the fact that I only have a few items of clothing to work with...I put my tee shirt on inside out!!!

For most people, this might simply be embarrassing, but for me, this is what I call heeee-larious. This is funny to me because when I was a new mom, and had reason to do it, I never did. This is funny to me because I am not trying to make a fashion statement by doing something new and different. This is funny to me because I am the queen of making a list and checking it twice, but I never imagined that "check to see if your shirt is on inside out" would be an item on my to-do list! Oh, and it is also funny because just a few days ago, I came in from a long day of writing, researching, and reading and as I made a bee line for the bathroom, singing "gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!" I looked down and realized that I had put my underwear on inside out as well!! I am not a college student who is too lazy to do laundry and resorts to recycling undies! I am a grown woman with not one but two master's degrees! I am an intelligent person! I am clean, competent, capable, and highly critical when it comes to details! So why in the world do I keep putting my clothes on inside out??? Who does this??? (Umm...obviously, I do!)

I have a theory! I could easily blame the clothing manufacturers for making us a tagless society. Remember when it was harder to put things on inside out because there was always a tag sticking out and scratching the back of your neck..or worse...to let you know that you were wearing it properly? Ah, the good old days! No, I would not like to place blame. I would like to think theologically instead. French philosopher and writer Voltaire supposedly said, "God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." Yes, that's more like it. There is no fault to find with the good people at  Hanesbrands, Inc. for their brilliant decision to make tagless clothing. The joy is in finding the punchlines that God delivers directly to me - often when I am swimming in my own seriousness. It is as if I have dialed that 900 number to hear jokes delivered right into my ear but this is better. These jokes are written with me in mind. If you think that God does not have a sense of humor, I would suggest that it is you who is without a funny bone! While it is preposterous to me to think that I could ever leave home in such a state of fashion faux pas - there comes a reminder that with God all things are possible! (Yes, even a funny fashion faux pas like inside out underwear!)

Just think about how awesome it is to know that God is just waiting for us to see how ridiculous we are as we struggle to make things fit into our neat little rows and boxes!  Think about a God of possibilities who just wants us to laugh. Imagine that aspect of God for just a moment.  Not from a prosperity gospel perspective but from a 'human beings living under the influence of a higher power' perspective. With God, it is possible to forget about the drudgery of a to-do list and just laugh a little. With God it is possible to love a little deeper and hesitate to hate. With God, unemployment becomes an open door to new and unimagined opportunities. With God, master's degrees pale in comparison to a life demonstrating a mastery of decency and compassion.  With God, problems don't just disappear, but solutions can blossom like flowers in a well-tended garden. With God, the burden of being well put together is lifted if only for a moment and it is replaced with the deep belly laugh that does more good than 50 abdominal crunches on an exercise ball!

With God, I no longer cared who saw me or what they thought of me and my inside out shirt. I knew in that moment that I was (and still am) deeply loved from the inside out - flaws and all - and that made me smile...all the way to the ladies room where I reversed the shirt and refreshed the lipstick before searching for the items on my shopping list!

While I certainly would not ask you to begin wearing your shirts and your underwear inside out, I will ask you to do one simple thing for me. Can you allow yourself to find something common and routine in your life and 'wear it inside out' for a moment and see what happens? Ask yourself, "what security do I find in doing this the same way every time?" What am I missing by living a life without divinely inspired laughter? God is indeed a great comedian but I don't want to waste my life living in the circle of hell marked "afraid to laugh".

If you don't do anything but allow yourself to laugh audibly (a real "LOL") from the thought of imagining me laughing hysterically on the ground in my inside out tee shirt in the Target parking lot...then it was all worth it to me!

Shalom!

For those of you who can actually see the video, this is a classic Diana Ross live performance. I could have chosen the more spiritual "Inside Out" by Hillsong, but I wanted something more comical so I went with "Upside Down".  Michael Jackson appears around 3:03 and if you have not laughed yet today, wait until you see the exchange of his dancing to her singing for that of her dancing to his singing!! Choreography has come a long way!