A Good Wife?

A good wife?

A married man told me that I would make a good wife. He should probably discuss that theory with my ex-husband. The comment...compliment...came as a result of an act of thoughtfulness on my part. I frequently take on the role of the Mother figure (my inner feminist/womanist is pacing and screaming obscenities at the thought of the stereotype but let's move on anyway). This means that when people are running around stressing themselves out and not eating properly and pushing themselves beyond what is natural and healthy for the human body, I am watching. I watch and wait for the chance to offer some relief. Remember the "Candy Lady" at church? Yeah, kind of like that but healthier. I always bring extra food in my lunch bag because inevitably, I will end up reaching in the bag to share and it is so much easier to just bring extra than to share the carefully measured portion I packed for myself. (I believe that's what is meant by putting on your own oxygen mask first...) If I bring one apple, I bring two because someone will need a snack. If I pack one turkey and swiss on a whole wheat croissant...I might as well pack two because someone will either passive aggressively salivate on my desk until I offer or they will simply ask..."Jones! Got any more like that?"

Now, if I am the Mother figure, then you can best believe that my colleagues are my children. Some prefer to 'go hungry' because they don't like green apples. They want a red one. They don't like Swiss cheese, they prefer cheddar. They don't want anything that they have to heat up. (Then, my inner Black mother kicks in..."Oh, you ain't REALLY hungry then!") In any case, if I am going out to grab a coffee or mid day ghetto soda (Welch's grape, Fanta or Sunkist orange, black cherry or cola champagne (or any of the other flavors whose names are written in Spanish on the label of that tall glass bottle!), I will typically ask the busiest people if they want something. This often delays my trip by as much as 15 minutes but for the sake of helping someone make it through the day, it's worth it to me. And for the record, I do not see this as motherly or wifely duties. I see this as an act of humanity that says, "I see you." I don't really think that people are concerned with what they eat as much as they are concerned with someone seeing that they are hungry but that may be a story for another blog.

So, back to this good wife thing...my co-worker mentioned that he was under the weather and all I did was bring him a teabag from my stash in my desk. Well, I offered it with a raised eyebrow and a careful reminder that he should just pause his day while the tea steeped in the cup and collect himself so that we wouldn't have to visit him in the hospital. He thanked me sincerely and looked at me for a minute and said, "Jones, you'd make a good wife. You know that?" I smiled the "if you only knew" smile and said, "Yeah, I would...but this ain't why!"