Grieving

it comes in waves
the pain is searing
and then the tears fall
and then the sobs rack
and then I'm done
and then it repeats
several times
and I want to drink
until I'm drunk
so I can pass out
and sleep until it doesn't hurt anymore
but that's not how I'm built
I cannot sleep
because I was built to grieve
as a complement to
the way I love
and so it comes in waves
the pain sears
and the tears fall
and the sobs rack
and then I'm done
and then it repeats
and they ask
"How are you?"
I mustn't lie
and so I say,
"There are good moments,
and then there are these."
and then the tears fall
and it's awkward now
but I collect myself
because it will come again
in waves
pain sears
sobs rack
I'm done
it repeats
waves
pain
sobs
done
repeat