Torn

Torn

i keep checking my chest
to see if i'm bleeding
but I am not
it only feels like
i should be
after being torn
from you
my kindred
my friend
my partner
i keep checking my nose
to see if i'm breathing
but i am
it only feels like
i'm suffocating
without you
my iron lung
i keep wiping tears
from my eyes
and pretending
they are from laughter
but they are not
it only feels that way
when i pretend
that i've not been
torn
from you
i'm writing a poem
hoping that my zig
will find your zag
and the fabric will
come together again
even if we have to use
safety pins to
close the zipper
(because we had too many
fake fat girl meals)
i keep checking
my heart
to make sure it's still beating
because it feels broken
but it still beats
so i'm still alive
but like that broken clock
that is right twice a day
a broken heart
still beats
even when it has been
torn
from the chest
and so i pray
that you are still
crying with laughter
breathing deeply
eating fat girl breakfast
(and lunch and dinner)
and that your heart still beats
and that my zig
will find your zag
and i won't feel
quite so
torn