Performing or Authenticing?

Why is it called performing and not authenticing?

At my best and truest...I am loud...and pretty funny. And I like me that way. I tell corny jokes and make smart remarks that make you laugh 5 minutes later because it just connected in your brain that I actually said what you thought I said...and it was funnier than you realized. I don't miss much in the verbal and nonverbal interplay in a room or at a table. (Ooooh, Lord, especially at the table!) This is interesting because my light seems to have several settings. Most of the time, I am a Tiffany lamp - shaded and providing a specific arc of gentle light. I can bring a warm glow to the room just by shining on others in the room. Most of my days are spent in that polite light space. I scale back and hold in the supernova that is on standby. You see, most of the time, I feel like I am in someone else's space and so I fold over onto myself and quietly wait for my literal 'time to shine'. If you pay attention to space and energy, you will find that there is always a delicate interplay at work. Some people try to ramp up their wattage and others need to be stoked to allow their light to burn brighter. I already know that as a child born under a fire sign, I can provide a warm glow or I can burn it up from the basement to the roof...(the roof, the roof, the roof is on fiyah! We don't need no water, let the....burn!). So, I typically opt to just let the embers glow instead of letting the fire run wild.

The other day, I let the fires burn a little bit more brightly and it did not go unnoticed. We were out in public and I was so excited to see my people that I could not contain myself. I laughed, told jokes, reminisced and tried desperately to use my inside voice but like the little girl at the table, I did not WANT to use my inside voice. There was too much positive energy at the table for that. I have to contain myself for the sake of others all to often. I wanted to be excited to be with these people. I wanted to be loud, funny and authentic. I know that other people in the dining area might have felt like I was in their space but to me, it felt like one big party and we all were sharing the space. My loud and funny was not at anyone's expense, so it could have been one huge celebration of life as far I was concerned. We did not know the other people in the room but that has never stopped me before. These days, knowing people is just a matter of making an introduction...and with the shrinking of the 6 degrees of separation, we were probably connected anyway. Come on! You've never made eye contact with the people at the next table in a restaurant? Seriously? (But you have 12 billion virtual friends on social media? Umm...okay...no judgement! Life is meant to be lived in person, not just in likes and comments and double-tap hearts! More on that later...)

I make these notes to make this statement...why is it that we refer to our "stage presence" as performing? When I am 'on stage' as a poet or as a preacher and sometimes, even in the classroom, I am at my most authentic. Life, for me is a series of performances and the so-called performances should be called authentics....because those are the times that I am in my truest skin. Shakespeare is credited with the saying "all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players" and isn't it funny that it appears in a play entitled "As You Like It"? I like it best when I can fill a room with the real me and know that it doesn't necessarily outshine anyone else in the room...it just adds to the brilliance that was already there. I do not seek to compete or burn anyone out. But be advised...like wildfire, I can sweep through a room quickly and completely or like a candle, I can offer my flame to one waiting to shine. (I like this one...there will be more on this subject later. Meanwhile...burn, baby, burn!) I am moving from performing to living a more authentic life. Please don't adjust your television or computer screen. The real Miss Jones is about to stand up!