Dear God,
Today I apologize. I apologize for outsourcing your work to idols. I apologize for both idol worship and idle worship. I put my faith in things that can never satisfy. I have left offerings on altars that could never receive them in the first place. And so, these offerings, genuine, pure, and true could only rot there...stinking...festering...feeding flies and breeding pestilence. I apologize. I apologize for idle worship that just gets all revved up but never really goes anywhere. Praying to ask for a filling and indwelling but then operating on old fumes and bad fuel. I'm pretty hard on the Israelites when I read their stories but then when I make my life a parallel text...I'm suddenly compassionate and a lot less judgmental. I apologize. I apologize for the expectation that someone else can do what you have done for me for so long. I apologize for knowing better and not doing better. Today, I apologize. I'm not asking for a miraculous healing...I'll just take pain medication. I'm not asking for extra hours in the day...I'll be a good steward of the 24 I have (every day). I'm not asking for a king to share my queen sized bed...I'll re-read 1 and 2 Kings and remember what happens when you ask for a king just because everyone else has one. (hey, that's kind of funny, isn't it?) I'm only asking you to forgive my arrogance, my forgetfulness, my selfishness and my everythingelsethatisnotlikeyou-ness. Today, I apologize...and repent.
Thank you,
Love,
Carla
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